The Life I Live Now.

After High School I dreamed of getting away from Washington. I never wanted to stay there, I lived in a small petty town, full of small people, who had nothing better to do than do drugs and drink alcohol. My senior year of High School I was turning into one of those people, and I didn’t want to be that person. I had no inspiration. So, I applied to college, got up, and left. Now I only talk to a few people from back home, and unfortunately most of them have problems.
I loved my life in California, I had the inspiration, I had the motivation to make something of my life, and I learned a lot about who I am as a person. I lived there for two years, and it was the best time of my life. I laughed so hard I cried, I fell in love, I worked so hard my bones hurt at the end of the night, it had been the life I craved and needed at the time.
As some of you know, recently, I got up and left California too, because of an emergency in my life. Sometimes when you love something so much you should walk away to better yourself. I know this from experience, I know every time I have walked away, I come back stronger, better and more mature. Don’t the things I love deserve that? I think so.
I left my glamorous life in California, to go to New Hampshire. It’s a different world here. It is nothing like I am used to. It’s the laid back, friendly, educated, family oriented life style I never thought I would have. Plus, it feels extremely good to hold my sister, while she still lets me.
New Hampshire is the place phone signal doesn’t exist, where the roads wind so deep in the forest you think you got lost in heaven. The sun is super sunny, the wind is super chilly, the grasshoppers attach themselves to weird places, the skunks own the streets, and everyone is incredibly okay with being themselves.
Fashion does not exist here; the warmth of ugly clothes fills the small streets. People have known each other for a while, and support unconditionally, your neighbors can walk right into your house and stay for dinner. You can have as many animals as you want and fill the house with love. You don’t have to work a million hours to live, you can simply enjoy what life has to offer.
I don’t know about you, but this is a dream for me. A picture worthy dream, that I never thought I would get. I always imagined heaven would look like fall in New Hampshire, bright reds, oranges, yellows, and even a little purple. I hated leaving behind my life in California, but everyone I love will know this was the right choice. Instead of seeing unbearable pain in their eyes, I want them to visit. I want them to know there is more than life in California, there is something better. I want light in their eyes, happiness in their souls and a stress-free life for them.
New Hampshire isn’t what I expected, and it’s more than I wanted, but it’s everything I have ever hoped for. To my friends back in Washington, I hope you find the way to come out of the dark hole, I hope you find your way to happiness, and a long life full of healthy choices. If somehow you can’t do that there, get out, get far, go across the country, find yourself and be proud to leave. You deserve no less than a healthy, happy life, so don’t treat yourself any other way.
As for me, I will continue to grow into the women I deserve to be, grow to be the person the ones I love deserve. I will focus on my health, and happiness. I will work on my stress and my anxiety. I will come back and be an inspiration to others and most importantly I will inspire myself.

P.S. To the man who said I was his forever plan, even across the country, I realize you’re mine too.

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34 thoughts on “The Life I Live Now.

  1. A joy of life is that you do not “become me” at any point. At eighty-three there is still way too much and too many things I want to consume, physically, spiritually, and intellectually, to decide to stop! No way. What is the next pot I can hop into! I even took a online piano lesson the other day. Is that me? Probably not but I learned something I never knew before.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s nice to see a person who recognizes that “struggle” is NOT synonymous with “impervious,” but rather an impediment or obstacle worth the effort to overcome. This attitude strengthens character opening doors to all kinds of opportunities.
    Wishing you all the best on your continuing journey.

    Liked by 1 person

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