Secrets Of a Pissed Off Barista

People seem to think being a barista is easy, but those people are wrong. There is no easy job, you will always have to deal with weird, angry people, you will always have to put in effort, and you will always have someone who is upset with you. So in reality being a barista, working at McDonalds, working at a library, or being a successful president of a company, are all hard jobs. All are equally shitty, and all will pay you less than you deserve. Adulthood sucks.

Being a Barista is mentally and physically demanding. Most people wouldn’t think being a barista is a very mental job, but in reality it is, and it’s hard. Every week I have to go through orders and figure out how much we are going to sell, I have to lead people into doing their best. Someone is always mad at me, or wants me to lead others a certain way and I have to figure out what is best for each individual person. I have to remain insanely calm even when there is pressure. The only people who can work with the public have extremely tough skin, and won’t let anything effect their job performance. People eventually take a toll on you.

My job is also super physical, which explains why my feet are always killing me at the end of the night. I walk at least six miles at work every day. I lift heavy boxes, and I run back and forth as fast as I can, all while keeping a smile on my face and giving the best service I can.

So after explaining my job, here are the not so secret, secrets, of a pissy barista:

  1. Every time you order a Frappuccino my soul dies a little.
  2. Your iced Cappuccino is a waste of my milk.
  3. I will charge you for the extra caramel sauce because the tube is more than my checks.
  4. I will never split up drinks for you, and I will give you the cheapest, smallest cup.
  5. I will secretly always side with my coworkers, because they are usually right, and you’re wrong.
  6. When I got home, I get drunk, and reenact the rude customers I had that day.
  7. We all laugh about the horrible customers in the back.
  8. If you don’t know your own drink order, I make what I think you will like.
  9. That one penny you left me as a tip, is probably long gone on the floor,
  10. If you repeat something more than twice, you may or may not be getting the opposite of what you asked for.
  11. I really don’t care if you’re entire day is “ruined” because of my actions. I just pretend like I care.
  12. It is my job to be super happy, and upsell you on everything. So don’t you dare be mean to me if I am doing my job.
  13. My bosses make more fun of the bad customers than I do. So you probably won’t want to talk to my managers.

All this being said, next time you go get coffee at your local shop keep these things in mind. Don’t be rude when the baristas upsell you, and don’t pity them because of their job. Being a barista in a busy coffee shop has taught me more skills, and life lessons than any other job I have ever had. It is by far the hardest and most rewarding job.

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21 thoughts on “Secrets Of a Pissed Off Barista

  1. I love this so much!
    Especially point 10 is true. I might sometimes do the same.. also, when I notice someone being super rude to the person serving them, I might not put as much effort into making their coffee^^

    Since making coffee, i am much more picky but also more understanding when I go into a coffee shop myself. I let them know my full order and wait patiently 😉

    Will have a Barista post up on my blog soon as well, I’ve been meaning to do it for a while and your post reminded me again, thanks 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love it when people know their orders and wait for me to write it all down and ring it up! I only get that once in a while, and it drives me insane when people are super impatient. I would love to read your post on being a Barista! I love my job but I also like comparing experiences.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. love it too, dragonsandzombies!

      uptightprettygirl, having worked with the public, I know too well that any sales sort of job is not easy – can’t imagine adding caffeine to the mix – eek!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I am a retired nurse. I loved patient care. That said there were nurses, patients,, patients’ families, doctors, administrators, lab technicians, and other employees needing or wanting something done now! You do what you need to do. Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Its wholly wrong when customers are rude. Rudeness is wrong in and of itself, however its particularly bad when people demonstrate poor manners when dealing with baristas aand people employed in similar jobs, as they know that the barista can’t answer back/defend him/herself. On a lighter note, when I first came across the term barista (some time ago), I thought that the person writing it had made a mistake and had intended to write barister! I now know better! Kevin

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are correct what life skills we learn and to all those rude people out there spare a thought 🙂 for that hardworking, person serving you 🙂 Although I am always polite but I have come across some pretty rude servers and it wasn’t me!… It is a two way path sometimes 🙂 Mine’s a frappuccino..pretty please 😉

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Really?? Some pretty rude people where you are then..Please costs nothing… In fact I am really hot on that and if a shop assistant just snatches my money and doesn’t open there mouth I say please and thankyou fairly loud..it happens a lot here but I don’t play that game or I won’t go back there…Manners cost nothing…Ohhhh sorry rant over it just winds me up 🙂

        Like

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