Do you ever think of a million things to stress over, every second of the day? I feel like that every day of my life, I go over things in my head that probably won’t matter in the long run, or even tomorrow.
I will have a day off and stress about school and the things that need to be done, or think about all the things that I need to do for school. Then after I make a list of things to do, I sit and stress about work and everything else in life.
I think about how there are ten leaks in my café, I worry about if the guys will take care of it while I am gone. I worry about the steaming hot back room, that will melt all my Easter chocolates. I worry about the bake case and if everyone will make sure to upsell. My mind will not keep still, I have never been able to just relax.
Everyone tells me to get off my phone, that will help. Can we be honest? Those people are fucking idiots, they have never had anxiety, they have never had so much going on inside of them they couldn’t relax. Sure I am on my phone, not all day, and getting off my phone wont help my mind relax. Why does my phone have to do with me relaxing? I will still be thinking about everything all at once, on or off my phone.
There are times when I just break down, my job is so stressful and I deal with so many angry teenagers, by the time I get home I shut down. When another person gets on my case about something, at home? I cry. It’s so hard being an adult, I am trying my best and most of the time is doesn’t seem like it’s good enough. People don’t want my best they want more from me. It is almost as if the world wants me to think about 100 things at all times and be angry.
I won’t ever let these emotions get the best of me, I will always try my best, and I will make the best of this life. If I let worries get to me, I won’t have such a great life. My life isn’t all I imagined but it’s pretty damn good. I will always go a million miles an hour, but learning how to cope with it is something I am learning. One day I will be able to let all my worries go, and things in life will be easy, but today isn’t that day.