Out of Time.

Do you ever think of a million things to stress over, every second of the day? I feel like that every day of my life, I go over things in my head that probably won’t matter in the long run, or even tomorrow.

I will have a day off and stress about school and the things that need to be done, or think about all the things that I need to do for school. Then after I make a list of things to do, I sit and stress about work and everything else in life.

I think about how there are ten leaks in my café, I worry about if the guys will take care of it while I am gone. I worry about the steaming hot back room, that will melt all my Easter chocolates. I worry about the bake case and if everyone will make sure to upsell. My mind will not keep still, I have never been able to just relax.

Everyone tells me to get off my phone, that will help. Can we be honest? Those people are fucking idiots, they have never had anxiety, they have never had so much going on inside of them they couldn’t relax. Sure I am on my phone, not all day, and getting off my phone wont help my mind relax. Why does my phone have to do with me relaxing? I will still be thinking about everything all at once, on or off my phone.

There are times when I just break down, my job is so stressful and I deal with so many angry teenagers, by the time I get home I shut down. When another person gets on my case about something, at home? I cry. It’s so hard being an adult, I am trying my best and most of the time is doesn’t seem like it’s good enough. People don’t want my best they want more from me. It is almost as if the world wants me to think about 100 things at all times and be angry.

I won’t ever let these emotions get the best of me, I will always try my best, and I will make the best of this life. If I let worries get to me, I won’t have such a great life. My life isn’t all I imagined but it’s pretty damn good. I will always go a million miles an hour, but learning how to cope with it is something I am learning. One day I will be able to let all my worries go, and things in life will be easy, but today isn’t that day.

 

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33 thoughts on “Out of Time.

  1. I used to be like you and not shut off my brain too. I did some therapy and learned some skills to help me. And I also have anxiety, as well as depression, a touch of OCD and who knows what other mental illness. One thing that helped? Meditation. Even for 2 minutes a day. Another thing? Mindfulness. Focus on doing one thing at a time and only one thing. Eat dinner without the TV on. When you start thinking about things other than what you are eating, just reroute your thinking back to eating. Even if you have to do it 100 times during the meal. Drive without the radio on. Stop and smell the roses per say. I’m not sure if you just wanted to vent or if you were looking for advice. If it was just to vent, I hope I did not upset you by putting advice.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Ah, stress is one of the worst things ever, it impaires your thinking in such a way that you’ll only focus on negatives and sometimes these worries and theories are far fetched. Also the worst is you have to help it on your own, somehow.
    But as you pointed out we need to keep trying and not let it win and I think one should just do as much as they can and leave the rest. Worrying doesn’t help anyway, it does sometimes but mostly no!
    You have the awesomest blog name (see I love it so much that I made a word out of awesome!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha thank you. Everyone always called me uptight and I hated it. But instead of getting angry about it I made the name into something I love! And yes totally, worrying doesn’t help anything. Im working on it and hopefully I will get better!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That is genius girl, I’ve been called uptight a lot of times too, some still call me that! But your spirit is amazing and indeed made it lighter and funnier for people like you and me, thank you!! Keep rocking🙌😀

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, yeah, I call it looping. I’m old, been looping for decades. It becomes a way of life. But I do monitor myself and if it’s getting dangerously depressing I tell myself to loop on something fun like music (teaching myself to play ukulele) or stuff like that. Just don’t let life beat you down. It’s ok sometimes…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi uptightprettygirl. I get where you’re at. Life is such a pace, but we let it do that to us. Think about some of these things and realise they’re not important. Worrying about them won’t cure them. Trust in others and find time to zone out.

    Thanks for the follow and the blog love btw 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  5. When I get like that, and it used to happen a lot, I go for a walk or run, anything to occupy my body’ so my mind can run out. Good luck. Take a few breaths and roll your shoulders. Sounds dumb, but it loosens the anxiety.😘

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hey There .. i can understand whats goin on inside you. people say to get rid of phone just to avoid unnecessary distractions . i see many people go restless over whatsapp/snapchat/Facebook messages .. but it solely depends on person and his usage of mobile phones.. i would need to to do e-payments, recharges, play songs/videos and many other useful options smartphonephones could offer .

    there are 100 things to worry about , i believe life is all about D.I.Y strategies and you will eventually find ways to handle your stress..

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m curious, why jellyfish? I saw that too in your profile. It’s an unusual favourite animal – nothing wrong with that!
    Sometimes in our busy-ness we forget to stop and be still, even if just for a few minutes. It helps to soothe and calm. Just breathing slow and deep is soooo good for that. I wonder if you know about the thousands of guided meditations on the net – there are some really short ones there that you could do in a few minutes. It all makes a difference – the site I use is Bing . You can do your own internal search for what type of meditation you want. http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Guided%20Meditation&qs=n&form=QBVR&pq=guided%20meditation&sc=0-0&sp=-1&sk=

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like how jellyfish go with the flow. They are guided by the ocean, they tangle together with out hurting each other. My favorite jellyfish are called man-o-war. They are beautiful and deadly. I have actually been trying meditation! I have an app that I’ve downloaded that has definitely helped. I will check out the link you posted!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I think we all get stressed out and time is definitely an illusion. It took for my son to come near death and be in a coma at the end of 2015 (post the flu mist!) for me to realize that so many things don’t matter. I do what I can. I try to be better today than yesterday, but that is it. Everything is not pressing. I’m glad you were honest with your feelings in this post. Sometimes we just need to say how we feel! ❤️​

    Liked by 1 person

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