Lying Comes Easy.

One of my biggest fears is telling the truth, lying is so much easier. Yes, that sounds absolutely awful, but everyone has a demon right? Everyone has something bad about themselves that they are trying to work on. Mine is lying. I have gotten better, but I am not 100% honest yet.

I am that person who will literally dig her own grave and you can watch me sink lower and lower as I wave goodbye. This year (and part of last year) I have been working on being honest, and finding out why I lie. Peopleย  have different reasons for lying, most reasons are something along the lines of “I don’t want to get caught.” My reasons are the same I suppose, but they also go deeper than that.

Ever since I was a kid I have been afraid of letting my family down. I was shy, quiet, and normally a really good kid. On the rare occasion I was naughty I would lie about it, till I got caught of course, and then I always felt so badย I would cry. There was one day in grade school where I came home and my mom asked me about my friends, I realized I didn’t really have anyone I connected with. So I started making up friends and telling stories. Of course my mom knew I was lying, but she never said anything.

I lie to seem better, I lie to keep up appearances, I lie so I won’t have to hurt anyone, and I suppose I lie because the truth usually hurts people and I can see that. I know what people want to hear, I can see it in their body language and I can give them those answers. I guess that is one of my major down falls, I want to be the nice person, that tells funny stories, and can get a long with everyone.

I made a deal with someone that I would stop lying, or at least work on it. Two years ago the grave I dug was probably 20 feet deep and now I can proudly say it is a foot deep. I know that isn’t great, but one day I will be on even ground with everyone else. I still fib here and there but I usually catch myself, and I apologize for it now, instead of getting upset about it.

I’ve been through so much in my life, and I know I can do better. If I hadn’t started trying to be better I wouldn’t have such a good life right now. I would be stuck with an abusive guy, drug addict friends and pretending (lying) that everything was okay. Right now my life is amazing, I couldn’t ask for a better home, a better job, or a better family. I got this all by working on myself, being a better person, and learning how to love the truth and to tell it.

One of the hardest things to do in life is admit you have a problem, and the second hardest thing to do is to commit to work on that problem. BUT if you can, I promise it will make a difference, and your life will turn around and become paradise.

Advertisements

49 thoughts on “Lying Comes Easy.

  1. So fitting and accurate and relatable to my own self. I also lied alot growing up, i knew what people wanted to hear so i told them that. It wasn’t until last year that it all exploded and i realized i had been lying to myself all along as well. Coming to terms with it was difficult but i knew I didnt want to be fake. That i wanted people to know me, and not the representative i put in front. It has been so relieving to let it go. I still catch myself here and there,but instead of getting down on myself, i accept like you, apologize and continue on. Love knowing this tidbit about you. Thanks for sharing: ) Brought up good things within myself.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I often times know when my friend is lying to me…. and the worse is when they convince themselves about this lie to where they believe it’s the truth. We had a fall out because I called them out on it….. things between us at the moment are….. rough.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Maybe they will work on it? Sometimes calling someone out is what they need. It is what I needed. If the person I made a deal with hadn’t called me out, I would be in they same place I was two years ago. You have a right to the truth, but for some people the truth is hard to give. I have had to work so hard on this problem, so give your friend some time. Things always come around.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. it’s not black and white this lie/true dichotomy is it? If you lie to gain an advantage of hurt someone then yes that’s morally dodgy but if you lie to avoid hurt then whats the big deal? Sometimes that lie avoids an initial hurt but just makes space for a bigger one. Not always clear. But the other side, those people who tell you ‘I have to speak my mind, I have to be honest’. Nooo stop. You don’t. You’re just being self indulgent. You’re not empathising with the recipient of the lie at all but being selfish. So don’t beat yourself up. Life is far too short and most lies are utterly harmless if somewhat embarrassing if found out.

    PS thank you for the follow! I’m proper touched!! (and not a lie!)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I guess its not black and white. But for the most part telling the truth has been easier for me. And makes me feel less guilty. So it has been rewarding. I see what you’re saying and half of me agrees with you. And no problem I try to read as many blogs as I can a day!!!! Do you have specific days of the week you post on? I’d love to check in on your blog on those days!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. At the moment it’s daily but not idea if that continues.. 3 days are short fiction the rest a mix of family travel London life thought pieces film book and theatre reviews and… occasionally a bit about my latest book. So dip in when and if you have time!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Not telling truth is a phenomenon I find is more wide-spread in America, especially in the USA and especially in Canada. That is the hardest part of all because I come from different background, from Europe, Latvia. I was mislead for so many times initially that I literally have hard times believing anything people would say. I cannot see actually why somebody would not give a straight answer or opinion, but it is most likely what you are describing so well: the truth hurts, and the assumption is that nobody can take truth or accept it makes people tell something that pleases the other person.
    Well, I like the European approach much more because once one knows what exactly the matter is they can find some kind of solution. In case of sweet lies: what can you do? I would love people being much more honest and when it comes to a simple questions, like: Are going to come to whatever event? honest answers are given: I find this boring, I am too busy, etc. Instead, when we receive empty promises which nobody ever was going to keep, it hurts even more than the real and honest reason and answer.
    Well, you are totally not alone, but it is so great you could admit there is an issue. I believe the entire system wants people to lie, to pretend and to play some roles they have assumed as fitting in some circumstances.
    That is still the biggest issue for me because I am extremely honest, even when that is not in my favor at all, I cannot say what I don’t believe in, I cannot make a compliment when it would be expected if I don’t think the compliment is deserved. That type of thing.
    I hope you will inspire more people to be honest and not to worry about appearances, but to worry about the long-term consequences of not telling truth. I’m writing about life matters in my secondary blog https://inesepogalifeschool.com/, the primary is only for art.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. It is a big issue in America. Lying is how people my age were raised. I can see it in myself and in others. And now that I’m working on myself and lying I find it annoying when people lie to me. I prefer being honest, because I dont have to keep track of the lies. I would like to follow your second blog! Do you have certain days you post for each?

      Like

  5. Your honesty is refreshing. Even if no one else finds out, the fact that YOU know you’ve lied is the biggest hurt. I have the opposite problem, I am painfully honest when a little white lie would spare another’s feelings. Ah, well, we’re all works in progress… lifelong learners!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. I currently have dealings with a guy who constantly lies and saddest part is he believes that I believe him. Even when I call him out he lies again eg he cannot help himself! And I just laugh because he constantly contradicts himself, and I wonder if others just don’t listen because his lies are so obvious.

    Good to know it’s an issue and work on it. Most people wallow in self-pity but doesn’t sound like that’s an issue for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m trying my best to better myself. I refuse to wallow. That would make me a very sad person. The point of learning from mistakes is to get better, if I acknowledged my problem but didnt try to help myself, my life would be awful!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Well written of truth in a great manner ! I think , ” One can easily make life easier and beautiful , if honesty in life “! So I am happy to know your journey towards honesty is started !
    Thanks for sharing , keep sharing &
    HAPPY JOURNEY !

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Good for you, lying hurts people. But, most importantly it hurts the liar most even when we think small lies don’t. Lies eat away at your soul and keep you bound like an addiction. We’ve all struggled with it, good work on trying to change. You will be much happier!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m happy to read, that you are working on it to be better to stay honest. This will help you in many times in your life and it is always more easy to remember the truth, when any one ask you about anything.
    When you are lying to others, you are most of all lying to yourself, because others only see the person, as you show them, not the real you. When you are honest to the world, you will also attract other honest people to your life. We get, what we send out in return. Good luck.
    Irene

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Why lie, need a beer… A friend told me a story about a bum once who had a sign that said that. Quite the inspiration… As long as your giving me credible feedback, we are OK. Don’t ever feel the need to scared to show your true thought s at our blog Gastradamus

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hi! I realized last year too, that I lied a lot about little things, and thought nothing of it. Someone gave me gas money, and I used $4 to buy a burger. No big deal, right? Nope, big deal!! I’m a Christian, and God started really dealing with my about all my lies. Thank God, I’m so much better too!
    Keep up the good work!
    Thanks for the follow.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This is fantastic! Congratulations. You are right, the first step is acknowledging the shortcoming. I tell everyone, especially at work, that we cannot fix or improve something we don’t think isn’t fine.

    I’m the opposite; I am cursed. Lying (tell fibs) doesn’t come easy at all. I’ve tried even as a child but I got caught every single time. I once said I was going to the library but went to the mall and I was caught. I hate lies. I tell my hubby all the time to not say he will do something if he’s not sure he can and will do. I even told my boss last year not to be like my husband and just don’t say if unsure, or say, “maybe” or “I’m not sure but I’ll do my best”.

    I don’t deal with lying the same way across the board, though. If it affects me, I go crazy and I am on a sermon-binge, something any priest has never gone to. Haha. Others? I laugh them off; like my son’s girlfriends and other friends. I think some are pathological liars. I have realized people lie – white lies, they say – and they don’t mean to hurt. Sadly, some of them either don’t realize the lying hurts, or worse, some don’t even realize they’re lying. It’s Psychology, I suppose.

    Now, I may not find it easy to tell fibs but I can sure pretend – pretend to be fine with something I’m not fine with, to be happy, to be okay, to smile even if I’m hurting, to laugh when deep inside I’m crying… usual. I compensate; over-compensate at times. I wear masks. I have racquets. I may practiced defense mechanisms like a practical requirement for a degree. ๐Ÿ˜‚

    The great thing is that we see what we do, we acknowledge, admit, accept, fix and move on to be better people.

    Great writing, by the way! ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I’m sorry you feel that way, although I admire your spirit to improve yourself. I always found that telling the truth, meant you didn’t have to rely on your memory to remember what you had said previously, as there is only one truth, but many lies. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Wow, what a moving post. I came by to thank you for following my blog. I got so much more than I expected in return. I wish you the best and happiest life. The work never stops! I hope that you will sign up for my professional blog, Always Write, http://marshajustwrites.com/free-e-book/ I’ve been blogging for five years, and I’m still learning. Thanks so much for following my blog. I’ve been a teacher and educational consultant, blogger, and author. What kinds of obstacles do you face blogging or writing that I might be able to support you with? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s