Something New.

I know I write mostly about fashion, but something has been on my mind for months. I am hoping by writing about it, I might be able to relax a bit, and maybe feel a little bit better. I have seen others post open letters to their best friends, partners, and even parents. So now I want to try it, I doubt the person I am writing to will ever read this. On the off chance she does, I hope she understands everything I went through. So here we go.

Dear Ex Best friend,

It sounds so weird saying ex best friend, I thought you were my ride or die. I thought we were inseparable. I honestly thought we would grow old together and get matching tattoos that said “Fuck You!” Now we don’t even talk. All you care about is meth, or the next high.

For a long time I dealt with it, you told me you weren’t hooked to clear, told me it was just a party thing you occasionally do. I wanted to believe you so bad, then I realized people can’t do those drugs with out getting hooked. I carried you home, while you were falling and puking. I wiped your tears and held you when you were coming down. I took care of you.

You told me you would stop for me, that you wanted to be in my life, in my baby sisters life. But you couldn’t stop, you were too addicted, too far gone. I feel as if I failed you. We used to be two uptight pretty girls who had so much in common. Now you can barely keep a job, you won’t go home to people who love you, you steal from everyone, and you get into trouble. You have stolen money from me, you have stolen clothes to sell, and you have stolen from my family. You’re getting so messed up, and driving afterwards, do you know how dangerous that is? Of course you do, you crashed your car and ended up in the hospital.

Now if all this wasn’t bad enough, you’re pregnant, doing drugs. Do you even know who the dad is? Do you have a plan? If you couldn’t get clean for me, will you get clean for your future kids? Image result for drugs

The funny thing is, even with everything you’ve done to me, everything you’re doing to yourself… I would forgive you. I love you to death and would support you unconditionally if you just went to rehab. Get clean, stay clean for a year, show me commitment and I would help you through anything. But apparently that is impossible. So now the last memory I have of you and I together is of you passed out on a tweakers couch after shooting up, with all of my money.

I’m sorry best friend, I have failed you, I thought you were my ride or die.

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18 thoughts on “Something New.

  1. I ‘lost’ a friend to drugs in the 1970s. He became a heroin addict, then a dealer, then went to prison.
    Stole money and other things from friends, and disappeared into the sub-culture of that dark world.
    Never seen or heard from him since, and don’t want to.

    Thanks for following my blog, which is much appreciated.
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am not sure that ‘Like’ is the appropriate response here.
    ‘Admire’ might be better.
    I too have known people I love ruin their lives with drugs and/or alcohol, and there is nothing sadder.
    The feeling of helplessness and loss is brutal, I know.
    I wish you luck in your own endeavours, if your friend deserves you she will be back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hope one day she realizes that drugs are a joke. I have known her for so long ad I know if she really wanted to she could get sober, it will be scary and hard, but she could do it. Thank you for your support, it always helps knowing that others have been through something similar.

      Like

  3. Oooooh my..
    So sad 😭…

    But you should text this letter to her. Or write it in a letter.. to her..

    Drugs does steal our love ❤️ ones from us..
    I wish she wake up and overcome this addiction and get clean..
    she must realize how self destructive it is by Now..

    BFF..
    wish you find it back again

    Liked by 1 person

  4. that’s one tough read; I’m old enough to have had problems with friends and drugs but not quite like this. But I think your attitude is right and, as the cliche rightly has it you have to love yourself and be fair to yourself and undertake some self compassion before you can really help others.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was hard to go through. It is always hard to let someone go especially when you know they are in a bad spot. That is pretty cliche but its true. You really have yo focus on yourself and be mentally healthy before you can help an addict.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s hard but sometimes you have to be a cliche and be cruel to be kind. I had to do that for someone. I had to accept that not putting my foot down was actually encouraging him to keep digging his own grave. It was also not good for me and my family. I had to let go… even if the person of so far down, even that ultimatum probably didn’t work. But after the use and abuse, we have to look out for our own good.

    Liked by 1 person

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